Why Your Mom Told You to Not Assume

From the Idaho Press Tribune:

"County commissioners had fired Wiebe and Fouser from their job as public defenders earlier this year. Their termination was effective Saturday. . . . Commissioners had sent Wiebe and Fouser a letter June 29 asking them to remain public defenders until Sept. 30 to give the new public defender time to prepare to take over the job. The letter stated that if Wiebe and Fouser did not want to do so, to notify the commissioners immediately. Wiebe and Fouser did not respond to the letter."

I really feel bad for them Commissioners, cos' I had something like that happen to me too. See, I got divorced from my wife of ten years. She was real nice and all. Cleaned the house, cooked the dinners, even raised up them brats. But she was spendin' too much of my money and I was in the mood for summin' new. Ya know? Anyways, the divorce become official on December 30th. But before then, I gets engaged to this real sweet little gal who promised she wouldn't cost me as much. So, good deal for me, right? We set the wedding for Valentine's Day 'cos she lived out-of-town and she needed time to pack up and move and all. She thought that was real romantic.

But what was I gonna do in the meantime? A man's got his needs. Then I comes up with this idea. I sends a note to my old wife sayin' that I'd like to go out with her on New Year's Eve and that I'd meet her at the Elks like always unless I heard otherwise. And guess what? I get all dressed up and went over there and that bitch never showed! Pissed me off cos' the other Elks were all laughin' at me. I asked her to respond if she weren't coming! So I just assumed she was gonna be there. And I was gonna pay fer her steak and them Cosmos she likes to drink, so it wasn't like she weren't getting somethin' too. I don't unnerstand what I did wrong and I guess them Commissioners don't either.